Mr. Bungles

Table Saw.
Thumb.
Ouch.


Typing one-handed for a while. Thumb still attatched-many stitches though.
The Lord was looking out for me- thumb still there, no tendon or bone damage. Praise God!

Back to the vicodin.

And now for something completely different . . .

Published on Friday, October 22, 2004 by Guardian/UK
'George, God Here. . .'
President Bush has words with the Almighty
by Terry Jones

"George?" "Yes?"

"This is God here ..."

"Hi, God. What can I do for you?"

"I want you to stop this Iraq thing, George."

"But you told me to do it, God!"

"No I didn't, George ..."

"But you did! You spoke to me through Karl, Rumsey and Dick and all those other really clever guys!"

"How did you know it was me talking, George?"

"Instinct, God. I just knew it!"

"Do you really think I'd want you to unleash all this horror and bloodshed on another lot of human beings?"

"But they're Muslims! They don't believe in You, God!"

"But, George, they do believe in me. Jews, Christians and Moslems all worship the same Me! Didn't you do comparative theology at school, George?"

"No, of course not! You think I'm some sort of peace-waving dope-headed liberal faggot-lover, God?"

"No, of course not, George, but I expect you to know something about the people you're bombing."

"Oh, come on! I know it's right to bomb those oily rag-heads until there's not one left to wipe a wrench on!"

"How do you know that, George?"

"Cause You tell me that's what I should do, God."

"George, I do not tell you to do that!"

"But I hear You, God! You speak to me! You tell me what to do! You tell me what is Right and what is Wrong! That's why I don't need to listen to any soft-baked, mealy-mouthed liberal Kerry-pickers!"

"George, you're deluding yourself."

"God! How can you say that? I got some of the most powerful people on this planet down on their knees every day in the White House just a-praying to You! Now are you gonna tell me You ain't listening? Because if You ain't listening, God, that's Your problem - not mine!"

"George, of course I'm listening - it's you who is not listening to Me!"

"And I'll tell you why! 'Cause You ain't addressing me right."

"What d'you mean, you jumped-up little Ivy League draft-dodger?"

"If you're so 'omniscient', God, you oughta know that you gotta go through Karl Rove, John Ashcroft, Rumsey and Dick ... those fellas know what they're talking about! I can't listen to just any deity who can pick up the phone!"

"But, I'm God, George!"

"Does Karl say you are?"

"But why do you believe Karl?"

"Because my gut tells me he's right!"

"Listen, you ignorant little pinch-eyed Billy Graham convert! Can't you get it into your head that I'm God and I'm telling you to stop all this 'pre-emptive strike' nonsense! Stop destroying Iraq! Stop supporting that monster Sharon! Stop picking a fight with the only other human beings on the planet that believe in Me! You're leading the world into unbelievable chaos and horror!"

"That's enough, God! That's just the sort of defeatist crap that I won't allow in the White House! Get out of here!"

"I cannot believe I'm hearing this, George."

"Well you better start believing, God, because this is the new reality. Don'tcha know that a recent Gallup poll shows that 42% of Americans identify themselves as 'born again'? That cuts across Republicans and Democrats, rich and poor, white and black! This is a real political power base, God, and you'd better believe it!"

"Look, all I'm asking is for you to show a little compassion to your fellow human beings!"

"I'm not going to debate this with you, God! You're beginning to sound like you belong to the reality-based community!"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Well by the 'reality-based community', we mean people who believe that solutions emerge from their judicious study of discernible reality." "Sounds fair enough..."

"But, as one of my advisors told Ron Suskind of the Wall Street Journal: 'The reality-based community is not the way the world really works any more. We're an empire now and, when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality - judiciously, as you will - we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do'."

"You mean...you don't give a damn, George?"

"I mean You speak through me, God, not the other way round! Is that clear?"

"Yes, Mr President."

Terry Jones is a writer, film director, actor and Python

© 2004 Guardian Newspapers, Ltd.

In memory of Heath

This evening I went to the visitation for a precious young man, Heath. He was 11 years old when he died on Saturday from injuries sustained in an auto accident. There were hundreds of people in line to grieve, love, and support his parents and family. It is so difficult to look into a casket of such a young child . . . very difficult.


Please pray for the Timmer family.

Click here to visit a memorial set up by his hockey league.

Blessings.

An interesting day . . .

This morning I went to church and sang in the choir. As a choir member I am required to be there for both morning services. This, however, is not what made this day interesting.

Before the first service began, several choir members and I were socializing - waiting to sing in church. One of my friends, Mary, was commenting on how she has 15 Bush signs in her front yard and jokingly said she was going to put one in my front yard. I responded, jokingly, that I would probably burn it. For Mary and I this would be just another light-hearted exchange - we both know and respect each other's political beliefs - but for others, I spoke blasphamy. One sweet old lady stood staring with her mouth to the floor and repeatedly asked if it was true that I was voting for Kerry. I responded yes and she couldn't believe it. She was truly startled that someone in the choir (church) was not voting for their beloved Bush. She even whispered in my ear that Kerry was "an asshole". This is quite a statement from her - she NEVER swears - at least to people around church:-).

I told her, with a wink, that I know Kerry's an asshole . . . but he's less an asshole than Bush. She said she'd pray for me. Hence, my name: Black Sheep.

Now, some of this exchange was with tongue in cheek - but the underlying meaning was not: she can't believe a Christian would vote for Kerry.

I was not really in the mood for singing. I wasn't pissed or hurt - just . . . sad. I really don't believe this dear woman thinks of me poorly - she gave me a big hug and said she loved me. But, I was still troubled. I talked with Mary at length afterwards and I think she was more upset than I. She said she doesn't think it was appropriate for her (or anyone) to respond to me in that way and I was very appreciative of her support. I explained some of my reasons for voting the way I plan, and she was very positive - she didn't necessarily agree, but she didn't treat me like a freak.

I was a bit down for the afternoon. Then I recieved a phone call. A co-worker's 11 year-old son was killed in an auto accident this weekend. Suddenly, Bush and Kerry seemed like a complete waste of my energy.

As I snuggled with my 4 year-old son tonight I couldn't imagine the pain my friend is suffering right now. How much time and energy do I spend on politics and other issues each day? Every moment with our loved ones is so precious. I realize that in our society it's almost impossible to not get so caught up in politics, careers, and other "extra-curriculars", but today brought me back a bit.

I have to remind myself that God is in control. That I am to LOVE first, everything else second. I am so thankful for the blessings God has given, and that includes my family, friends and yes - this country, with all of its faults and shortcomings.

Give someone a hug and let them know you love them. Especially, if they are voting for "the other guy".

Losing Localness

I just read an interesting blog at badchristian dealing with the patronage of local establishments and the importance of supporting these businesses. Wendell Berry has just posted this article touching on some of the same themes.

My wife and I were commenting not too long ago about the "Applebee-izaton" of the restaurants in our communities. It seems harder and harder to find a truely local food joint. BC lamented the fact that with the loss of these gems, we are losing part of our soul. I couldn't agree more.

An interesting point in Berry's article points to this loss of soul in our communities:

The general purpose of the present economy is to exploit, not to foster or
conserve.
Look carefully, if you doubt me, at the centers of the larger
towns in virtually every part of our country. You will find that they are
economically dead or dying. Good buildings that used to house needful, useful,
locally owned small businesses of all kinds are now empty or have evolved into
junk stores or antique shops. But look at the houses, the churches, the
commercial buildings, the courthouse, and you will see that more often than not
they are comely and well made. And then go look at the corporate outskirts: the
chain stores, the fast-food joints, the food-and-fuel stores that no longer can
be called service stations, the motels. Try to find something comely or well
made there.
What is the difference? The difference is that the old town
centers were built by people who were proud of their place and who realized a
particular value in living there. The old buildings look good because they were
built by people who respected themselves and wanted the respect of their
neighbors. The corporate outskirts, on the contrary, were built by people who
manifestly take no pride in the place, see no value in lives lived there, and
recognize no neighbors. The only value they see in the place is the money that
can be siphoned out of it to more fortunate places -- that is, to the wealthier
suburbs of the larger cities.

How many strip malls will our grandchildren fight over for historic preservation?

"Voting Christian"

I had an interesting conversation with my brother-in-law the other day. While discussing how screwed up many of Bush's policies are and how Bush seems to have a problem dealing with reality; he mentioned that he will be voting for Bush because he's "voting Christian". Mind you, he thinks Bush is an idiot.

I didn't explore this with him more deeply at the time, however I have been kicking this around the past few days and find myself troubled. Is there really such a thing as purely voting Christian? Anyway you slice it, these candidates are not champions of Christ's teachings. I know, I know. Many will respond that Bush stands for "traditional family values" (anti-gay marriage) and issues like Pro-Life (I am inherently opposed to abortion - but I can't stand the "movement") and for some, this is enough. But I have a hard time with his policies on health care, poverty, and war. Are these not Christian concerns? Is using fear as a tool for re-election a courting the Christian vote? Is the ability to deny reality (i.e. no wmd's) and stand bold faced to the country and lie a Christian voting virtue?

Just what does it mean to "Vote Christian"? Any thoughts?

Welcome to Black Sheep Christian!

I have spent a couple of hours typing and re-typing my first entry and everything I've written sucked. So, I'm just going to go with what's on my mind right now. The particulars about me will come over the next several entries.

One of the main reasons for this blog is for me to "get out on paper" my thoughts and questions about living a Christian life in America.

As a Christian, I have had a difficult struggle over the past couple of years in dealing with beliefs about how this country (particularily the Bush administration) claims to be the leaders of the free world - economically, militarily, and morally - and yet, so many words and deeds we've committed seem to project just the opposite. (That's quite a long sentence!)

This blog is my attempt to sort this and many other questions out.

Happy Trails . . .